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FAQs Ask me anything
(Or: Oh my god, words!)
As you may or may not have read, I quit smoking. While no longer cool and sophisticated, I am happy with this decision. I have not bitten anyone’s head off yet, nor have I thrown anything out the window. Hooray me.
As part of this, I have agreed to donate $5 for any and…
I’ve decided to go with One Million Moms. Congratulations, One Million Moms, on being the lucky loser in this challenge. I hereby promise to donate $50 to One Million Moms should I buy a pack of cigarettes before 6 months of my quit date. I will donate $5 to Focus on the Family for every cigarette I smoke between now and August 19. None of these motherfuckers are going to get any money from me, because I’m not going to smoke. But if I do (which I won’t), I will send the money and hate myself for the rest of my life.
It’s been 4 days, 2 hours, and 34 minutes since my last cigarette. I have saved $28.75, having not smoked 82 cigarettes. I would have spent 8 hours and 12 minutes of the past 4 days, 2 hours, and 34 minutes smoking. Ugh. Barf. Barf.
(Or: Oh my god, words!)
As you may or may not have read, I quit smoking. While no longer cool and sophisticated, I am happy with this decision. I have not bitten anyone’s head off yet, nor have I thrown anything out the window. Hooray me.
As part of this, I have agreed to donate $5 for any and every cigarette I smoke in the next six months to Focus on the Family, a horrible organization that supports right-wing nutjob candidates and opposes LGBT civil rights. This is to serve as a disincentive to smoking, after hearing about the idea from a co-worker.
I asked for suggestions for other organizations to donate to and my two (least) favorite are Liberty University & One Million Moms. Now, I ask for your help in helping me choose:
Liberty University
- Law School Dean Matt Barber… said it is “so offensive to me” and his many African American friends that “sexual anarchists” have “cynically co-opted and hijacked the language of the very, very noble civil rights movement and applied it to their disordered lifestyle.” (Via)
- Founder Jerry Falwell preached that segregation was the Lord’s will, supported South African Apartheid, and opposed Nelson Mandela’s release from prison. (Via)
- They plan to become doctors, researchers and professors, but these students from Liberty University, an evangelical school, also believe that God created the Earth in a week, around 6,000 years ago. (Via)
One Million Moms (In its own words:)
- This is a HUGE Victory! The ABC series “666 Park Avenue,” which is known for its controversial title and satanic content, will not be renewed. Glory to God.
- Send your email letter to Oreo (Kraft Foods) now! Ask that they remain neutral in the culture war versus promoting the homosexual agenda.
- Please send DC Comics (Warner Bros. Entertainment Company) and Marvel (Disney) an email urging them to change and cancel all plans of homosexual superhero characters immediately. Ask them to do the right thing and reverse their decision to have sexual orientation displayed to readers.
So, which should it be?
The Focus on the Family Un-Fundraiser
Above is a photo of me back in the day, when I was young and wore fake silver bulldog chains that I got out of gumball machines. Also, smoking. I quit for three years a while back, but have been on again off again since I started law school in 2008. So, it is with great excitement that I announce my Focus on the Family Quit Smoking Un-Fundraiser!
My co-worker told me about something she heard on NPR regarding a study on changing bad habits. They had groups of people use different incentives and disincentives to change their eating habits. One incentive was that people were monetarily rewarded for reaching certain weight loss goals. That apparently was not all that successful. The most successful manner was that people agreed to donate money to an organization they despised if they failed to reach their goals.
Here’s the deal: for the next six months, I will donate $5 to Focus on the Family for every cigarette I smoke. For those of you not familiar with the organization, Focus on the Family is an awful organization that pretends to be pro-family. What it actually is is an organization that opposes same-sex marriage, LGBT adoption, runs ads in support of right-wing, bigoted politicians, and encourages corporal punishment, (Christian) prayer in school, abstinence-only education, and “strong gender roles.” It is also the organization that paid for the bullshit Tim Tebow and his momma “pro-life” ad in the 2010 Super Bowl. And I mean, come on, fuck that guy.
If I slip up, I will post it here on this site and will post any letter or receipt I receive from Focus on the Family. I promise this and will follow through if at any time I smoke a cigarette in the next 6 months. That is $5 per cigarette.
I’m currently trying to think of another awful organization or political candidate that I will donate $50 to for each and any pack of cigarettes I buy. Any suggestions?








