Best Person Guaranteed to Whip San Francisco Into an Orgiastic Frenzy: Anthony Bourdain

Best Inanimate Object to Whip San Francisco Into an Orgiastic Frenzy: A map of San Francisco

Best Men’s Room to Check Out Another Man’s Junk That Doesn’t Have Mirrors Above the Urinals: Delirium, Edinburgh Castle (Tie)

Best Way to Get San Franciscans Involved in a Blackout Political Movement: Fernet

Best Police Lieutenant: Mike Stone

Best Mayoral Candidate: Emil Lawrence

Best Imminent Resignation by an Elected Office Holder: Ross Mirkarimi

Best Pick-Up Line by a Straight Male (Mission District): Hi, my name is Ty Segall.

Best Pick-Up Line by a Straight Male (Rest of San Francisco): Hi, my name is Pat Burrel, wanna fuck?

Best Burrito: Taco

Best Way to Keep Me From Ever Eating at Your Restaurant: Name it “Tacolicious”

Best Food Trend that Replaced Bacon and Cupcakes: Sticks of butter

Best Month of Summer: January

Best Obnoxious Tattle-Tale: Stanley Roberts

Best College Television Station: KRON

Best Conversation: Person 1: “I just saw Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.” Person 2: “Oh, well I saw the Swedish version.” Person 3: “Oh, well I read the book.” Person 4: “I read the book in Swedish, fuck you.”

Best Person (Under 18): Kid who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge on a field trip on a dare

Best Person (Age Unknown): Person who stole Guy Fieri’s Lamborghini

Best Stranger from the Internet Who Brought Me Food While I was Studying for the Bar: Monkeytonenews 

Best Campsite: Jefferson Square Park

Best Place I Saw an Angry Man Smash Another Man’s Guitar: Washington Square Park

Best Vacation Getaway: Port Costa

Best Advertising for a Museum Exhibition That I Did Not Attend: Maharaja: The Splendor of India’s Royal Courts

Best Service Animal I Really, Really, Really Want to See on Muni: Miniature Horse

Best Time to Hear San Franciscans Cry: May 25, 2011, 12th Inning

Best NFL Team I Totally, Absolutely Predicted Would go to the NFC Championship Before the Season: 49ers

Best Rapture: October 21, 2011

Best Use of Extortion of Guarantee Tax Breaks in 140 Characters or Less: Twitter

Best Thing You Will Probably Never See Again: Joanna Rees riding a bus

Best Mafia: Cab Drivers

Best Wait, That Still Exists?: The Power Exchange

Best Faux Grassroots Campaign: Run Ed Run

Best Giants Wife Who Got Mad at Me on Twitter: Nicole Vogelsong

Best Protest: Saggy Pants Protest at SFO

Best Occupy Sign: In Capitalist America, Bank Robs You

Best Boondoggle: Central Subway

Best Thing to Take Photos of: Garage Doors, People, Cars, Buildings, Graffiti, Trains (Tie)

Best Bridge: Lefty O’Doul Bridge

Best Thing I Saw on a Sidewalk in the Tenderloin: Colostomy Bag

Best Time to Leave Lunch: Co-worker says, “I can’t stand the Coen brothers.”

Best Person to Call if Someone Tells You That Someone Needs to Eat this 600 Pounds of Food, Immediately, or They Kill this Puppy: Snapandgo

Best Photo: This one

Best Place to Buy Cigarettes, VHS Tapes, Phone Chargers, Porno Mags, SF Food Bank: 8th & Market, 7th & Market (Tie)

Best Way to Spend a Thursday in April: Getting shitfaced on Manhattans at a judge’s house in West Portal

Best T-Shirts I Purchased: This one  and this one 

Best Concerts/Worst Alcohol: Drambuie

Best Thing to Get Rid Of: UN Plaza’s Fecal Fountain, Cupid’s Span (Tie)

Best Fashion Trend: The John Muir look

Best Pants: No Pants

Best Purchase: Fingerless Gloves at Kaplan’s

Best Marina Bar: LOL

Best Mobile, Gay Nightclub: The Man Van

Best Best Of List: The Tens’s First Annual Best Of List

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   the site. (@anygoddamncolleen)

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    Nice list. Honored

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