May 2010
Yuppie Camping
Top two terms in the emails that have been going back and forth among the people I am going to Big Sur with that are making me regret my decision.
1. French press
2. Braised fava beans
We need a motherfucker who can kill a bear on this trip. I should have invited Internerd.
will you write a nasty letter to my landlord? he hasn't cleaned the graffiti off the outside of the building and i am tired of getting the city's whiny-ass letters about it.
Dear Mr. Dickheadface,
Clean up the graffiti on the outside of the building*. Don’t want to clean up graffiti? Sell the building and go buy something in Walnut Creek, asshole. And fix the leaks and heat and shit.
I look forward to your anticipated cooperation.
Sincerely,
The Tens
*Obviously wait until I photograph and glamorize said vandalism by posting it on the internet.
so how's that lawyer stuff workin' out?
Kind of radically at the moment. I get to write nasty letters and yell at slumlords on the phone, which is what I think I was born to do.
What is your favorite 2 and least favorite 2 districts in San Francisco?
Tenderloin and The Mission. I don’t really dislike anywhere. I mean, I wouldn’t hang out at bars in the Marina, but it’s pretty enough. Over by Stonestown is pretty wack. I’ve lived here over seven years and still have no idea what Ingleside or Crocker Amazon are.
You gonna be blogging at UA more now?
Probably, now that I have more time, until I get fired by Subcomandante Kevmo.
“If your dad doesn’t have a beard then you’ve got two mums.”
—My friend Simon. (via indefensible)
Kids Say the Darndest Things
A friend who is a teacher sent me some jokes that the nine and ten-year-olds she teaches have been hurling at each other in the last week. I think there’s some solid material here.
Your mom is so fat that she sucks my mom’s dick for two cents.
Your mom is so fat, and she has dick in her mouth and in her ass.
Haul Away Joe
The Clancy Brothers
This is the kinda thing my dad made me listen to when he’d take me out drunk drivin’.
The Clancy Brothers
“Haul Away Joe”
So in my dream last night, I was taking pictures of famous San Francisco places with my iPhone, and there was this other person with a real camera taking the same pictures. And I walked up, and it was a girl - tall, attractive, platinum blonde...basically a tall glass of water. And I said, "Oh my gosh, are you The Tens?" And she said, "YES!"
It was kind of weird.
If she had a beard, that sounds just like me.
16th St. Dozens
Two Gallants
Two Gallants
“16th Street Dozens”
How I didn’t post this earlier… I’d put this up there with “Don’t Give Me No Bammer” in the running for best song about San Francisco. At the bottom of the list: that “put some flowers in your hair” hippie bullshit and Tony Bennett.
Plenty For All
Hot Snakes
Hot Snakes
“Plenty For All”
Bring ‘em all with you, it’s all for the best, ‘cause we got space out here in the west
Southern California! Let’s go, there’s room for us all
Obits & Night Marchers, Bottom of the Hill, July 27
