The Tens

I decided to hit my laptop to see if that would fix it, and holy shit, it did! Hopefully it stays that way. Back to our regularly scheduled program.

[Whistling] Heyyyy, how you doin’, little bitch? Where you trying to hide out at, playuh? We’re  just hanging out waitin’ for you to show your face. It’s all good. Holler atch yo boy. Chillin. What’s your, uh, recess? You know, freelance, fuckin’ photo, rice in a box, motherfuckin’ camera number? Whatever you got, bring it outside, mannn. Bring it on down, Let’s have some fun. Let’s play capture the flaaaag, maaaan. You can do it, come through. Let me what’s szlegrrblehkfa. 
Holler at your boy. Holla atcha boy. Eighty-five wins this year. I hope so. I hope so. Otherwise we gonna have some issues. You know that. So, I’ll see you soon. Beeeyotch.

I saw one of the greatest things ever today. Some dude was screaming about how much he loves America in the middle of an intersection at Grove and Van Ness. A Range Rover creeped into the intersection expecting crazy dude to get out of the way. Nope. The guy climbs onto the Range Rover’s hood and continues screaming about how much he loves America. A deputy sheriff shows up and asks the man to get off the hood. The man decides, no, I am going to climb onto the motherfucking roof and tell the world how much I love America. High-five, sir! 

I’d have pictures, but I spilled water all over my camera. I just took it out of the rice and it works, but the screen is broken, so I’m going old school.

My California Civil Procedure professor was out at trial today, so he sent an attorney friend of his to teach our class. I think I found my soulmate:

“How many 3Ls are in here? My first question for you 3Ls is, why are you here? No one gives a shit if you come or not.”

“If the judge is a fascist, that’s going to be a problem for me, because I’m always plaintiff side and anti-fascist.”

“I mean, even most conservative judges are reasonable. It’s not like you’re talking to Glenn Beck. It’s not like you’re stuck in a room with a retard.”

“Bifurcation, that’s complicated, i’m gonna skip that.”
-On seeing that he was supposed to cover bifurcation today.

“I try not to read statutory stuff. It’s hard to read and it’s confusing.”

“Isn’t it true that you’re a shitbag?
-On how to cross examine a witness.

Today’s line:

T. Lincecum  

Batting: 3 for 4 w/ 3 RBIs

Pitching: IP=6.0 H=4 R=0 ER=0 BB=2 Ks=7 WHIP=0.80 Season ERA=0.90